


Surviving the Loss

by Monkiebizzness



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha Iwaizumi Hajime, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beta Sugawara Koushi, Child Death, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Husbands, Mpreg, Omega Oikawa Tooru, Omega Verse, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27474163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monkiebizzness/pseuds/Monkiebizzness
Summary: This is an Omegaverse AUOikawa and Iwaizumi are a fated pair who very soon became a bonded pair in college. Years went by and they now have a child. The two have to somehow keep their relationship together after their child falls ill; dealing with physical and mental pain, will they be okay?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	1. The Birthday Party

**Author's Note:**

> Within my version of omegaverse mostly everything is the same except:  
> -a bonded pair (alphaXomega) are only affected by each other's pheromones once the alpha claims/bites the nape of the omega during a heat. They can literally feel the emotions coming from their mate no matter the proximity of one another.  
> -a bonded omega can not mate with anyone else other than their alpha; trying to do so will cause the omega to become physically ill and not able to stop vomiting.

**Chapter 1: The Birthday Party**  
  
I made my way into the backyard dodging all the children and avoiding the strategically placed decorations carrying the massive amount of pizza boxes. After placing the boxes, my sight landed on my amazing son. He was wearing his favorite shirt that had a large yellow star on it; it was his favorite from the moment Oikawa said it was perfect because he was our shining star. And Oikawa, was so beautiful. He may have a rotten attitude at times, but I’ll never not be awe struck by him. The two of them were playing along with the other kids and a few other parents. My eyes kept up with them all as they ran. Our son was so fast, he was running so far; out-running all the other pups. I watched him run around in circles and zig-zags. Oikawa was having a hard time catching him as well when he would run right at him then quickly zip left or right. He was running and running, until he wasn’t. I lost sight of him in the backyard. My eyes scanned the other kids until I found Oikawa holding him up in his arms. I felt this deep heavy dread hit me. I watched Oikawa's facial expression turn to panic as he yelled at me, but I couldn’t hear anything. It was like I was under water. I was trying and trying to focus as the dread was getting thicker.  
_“Iwa-”_ _“Iwa-”_ “Iwa-” “IWA-CHAN!” My hearing came back in full force as I heard him yell for me. My feet moved before I could register that they did. I was over to them, looking down at Oikawa clutching our labored breathing pup. “Iwa-chan, I don’t know what’s going on, he just fell and he wont wake up!” I could feel the panic and fear coming from Oikawa, I think I was starting to get fearful as well. I knelt down and felt his forehead.  
_“Mo...momma..”_ Hikaru barely opened his eyes and replied groggily. Oikawa embraced him close to his body, scenting him.  
“Oh! Thank God!”   
“Tooru, let’s lay him down in bed. I think he fainted,” I suggested putting my hand on his shoulder. He only nodded at me. I helped him stand up and guided them inside. Oikawa placed Hikaru in his bed. He was still a bit faint. I left them for a moment to apologize to the guests for the party ending early, then back to get some water. Back in Hikaru’s room, I found Oikawa cuddled up beside our son and rubbing his face.   
“Hikaru, can you sit up?” He did, slowly. “Sip on this ok?” He did. I looked at Oikawa, who was wearing a worried expression. I put out a comforting scent and mouthed at him _‘He’ll be okay’._ He only looked back at Hikaru who was almost done with the water. I rubbed his head as he finished.   
“Lay down and take it easy,” I said as he handed me the glass and cuddled back into Oikawa. I watch them. Hikaru was breathing slowly as Oikawa was petting his head. I just watched them for a moment. _My_ Omega and pup, my treasures; they were mesmerizing. I just stood there gazing at them until Oikawa held out his hand as a gesture for me to join. I placed the glass down and slid in beside Hikaru, sandwiching him in the middle. I nuzzled his head, scenting him then I kissed Oikawa. We laid there for a while. I found my eyes becoming heavy to keep open. I focused on the breathing of my family as I closed my eyes.


	2. Just a Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an Omegaverse AU  
> Oikawa and Iwaizumi are a fated pair who very soon became a bonded pair in college. Years went by and they now have a child. The two have to somehow keep their relationship together after their child falls ill; dealing with physical and mental pain, will they be okay?

**Chapter 2: Just a Cold**

I hear a distant beeping coming from somewhere I couldn’t place. My brain was slowly focusing on the noise as it got louder and louder. I woke up to an alarm screaming at me from the bedside table. I wondered for a moment how I made it back to my own bed until I looked beside me to see Tooru and Hikaru. We were still cramped in his small bed. It was his R2D2 alarm clock buzzing. It was early. A school morning.   
“Tooru,” he just shifted and snuggled closer to Hikaru. I looked down at our pup and he seemed to be breathing fine, but he was sweating a lot. _I guess he caught a cold._ I got up and headed into the kitchen to find the thermometer and some cold medicine. When I returned to the room Oikawa was touching foreheads with him. He looked up at me and I held up the answer before he could say anything. He slowly woke up Hikaru and helped him sit up. He seemed so out of it.   
“Thirty-nine point nine degrees celsius. That’s a mighty high fever,” I cleaned off the thermometer and put it away. “Let’s give him some medicine and plenty of water today and watch him. If it gets worse or doesn’t go down, we will go to the pediatrician,” Oikawa nodded at me. I kissed his forehead. He kissed me back before laying next to Hikaru.   
“Hey there my big six year old. Not feeling too good huh?” He stroked his head, wiping the hair from his brow. Hikaru shook his head and snuggled into him. “It’s ok Hika-chan. Your Mom and Dad will help you get all better!” He kissed the top of his head. I smiled at them and found myself kissing his head too.   
“Then you can open all your presents!” Hikaru looked up at me with a pouty face. I knew what that meant. “Hika, you have to get better first! Your health is more important than your toys,” Hikaru shook his head. I looked at Oikawa who giggled with my chuckle.   
“How about one, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa looked up at me with Hikaru, both wearing pouty faces. I had to cave.   
“Fine, one. Then the rest after you get better,” Hikaru cheered in excitement as Oikawa went to pick one out. He handed him a bag that had tissue paper pouring out of it. I knew what it was. The moment Oikawa saw it on the shelf he had to buy it. Hikaru pulled each piece of paper out as if there were surprises in all of them. I chuckled watching him. When all the paper was gone, his cheeks got even more red along with a sparkle in his eyes. He pulled out the stuffed baby Yoda. He giggled excitedly as he hugged the toy. Oikawa hugged him as well. I remember how much those two were in love with the Yoda-ling when watching the new Star Wars show, Manda-something.  
“Tooru, lets let Hikaru rest,” Oikawa scented him and kissed his head before walking out with me. I cracked the door. “Can you call his school, while I get ready for work?”   
“That shouldn’t be a problem. I hope he gets better soon, he is supposed to start First grade soon.”  
“I know, he’ll be okay. Probably just the season changes that brought on the cold,” I hugged him tightly and scented him before I headed to our bedroom.   
  
* * *  
We monitored Hikaru for two days, he wasn’t getting worse, but he wasn’t getting better. Oikawa would call me at work and keep me updated. He would also tell me he felt something in his gut that something was wrong, but because he wasn’t getting worse, I just wanted to see if he could sweat out the cold. Oikawa was convinced it wasn’t just a cold. I was on my way home to pick up Oikawa and Hikaru to go to Hospital. He needed to get better, _I_ needed this feeling in my stomach to go away. I made an appointment earlier in the day so that we wouldn’t have to wait for three hours just to see the doctor. I parked in the driveway, leaving the car running, and hurried inside. Oikawa was holding a sleeping Hikaru in his arms wrapped in a small teal blanket. He was waiting by the door. I nuzzled Hikaru and pecked Oikawa. He nodded to me and we headed to the car. 


	3. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an Omegaverse AU  
> Oikawa and Iwaizumi are a fated pair who very soon became a bonded pair in college. Years went by and they now have a child. The two have to somehow keep their relationship together after their child falls ill; dealing with physical and mental pain, will they be okay?

**Chapter 3: Hospital**

We were all in the exam room; Oikawa was holding Hikaru on the table while I was sitting in a chair beside them. It was so silent in the room, it was making my nerves even more on edge. Our scents were full of worry and anxiety. I had this feeling that I could cry at any moment-I knew that feeling was coming off of Oikawa-he was never good at hiding his feelings or his scent. I was trying to put out a more comforting scent, but I know it was mixed with anxiety. It was hard trying to hold yourself together with so much worry.  
A nurse had come and gone a couple of times; taking temperatures and blood from Hikaru. Every time the nurse came in Oikawa would start rubbing Hikaru’s back and helping him sit up. He seemed so tired. The nurse would say little words, take what she needed then leave. After it was only us in the room Oikawa would go back to scenting Hikaru. I was sure he was doing it to distract himself while comforting them both.   
After what felt like an eternity, a young man came through the door in a white lab coat. He put down his clipboard and went straight to the sink to wash his hands. We exchanged a few words of courtesy before he took his stethoscope and asked Hikaru to take deep breaths. All I could hear was wheezing. He checked his ears next, then his throat. He stepped back to his clipboard for a moment then jotted something down before looking up at us. I stood next to Oikawa, who was still sitting with Hikaru in his lap. He gave me a free hand and I held it.  
“It seems to me that Hikaru-chan only has a common cold, but you said you gave him cold medicine and let him rest for three days?”  
“Yes,” I answered  
“But he wasn’t getting better, that’s why we’re here,” Oikawa spoke up immediately.   
“I understand that Iwaizumi-san, that is why I am concerned. I don’t see any obvious signs that it could be anything else, so I’d like to keep him over night and run some different test to make sure it’s not anything else, but a severe cold.” I felt Oikawa squeeze my hand. I looked at his worried eyes.   
“We just want him to get better,” I looked up to the doctor. He nodded at us then excused himself. I could feel heavy anxiety coming off of Oikawa. I tightened my grip on his hand and nuzzled his neck, right over our bond mark. “He’ll be okay, Tooru. We have to trust the Doctor.” Oikawa nuzzled back. I could feel some of the anxiety go away, but there was still a hint of it in the air. I wasn’t sure if it was from him or me. Probably both of us.  
We stayed together like that until the door opened and a nurse came in. I didn’t let go of Oikawa’s hand. The nurse guided us to a bigger room with a medical bed. It smelled strongly of disinfectant. The nurse instructed us to lay Hikaru in the bed so she could give him an IV. Oikawa reluctantly separated from him, but never let go of his small hand. As the nurse swabbed a spot on his arm and placed the needle Oikawa was rubbing Hika’s other arm soothingly. I knew he was doing it to comfort himself, he hated needles. I started rubbing his back as I stood behind him. Once the nurse had left I pulled up a chair next to Oikawa and laid my head on his shoulder. I looked over at our son. He had his eyes closed and seemed so peaceful. He didn’t deserve to be here. He had just turned six. He should be at home playing with all his new toys and having his first sleepover that he wanted. And instead he was sleeping in a hospital, trying to find what was making him so sick. I felt like I needed to cry. I just stuck my face into Oikawa’s neck. Something was hurting inside me.   
Over the next day and a half the doctors and nurses were running tests and scans I couldn’t pronounce the names of. Each time the doctor came back with negative results. I felt guilty that I was happy when tests for something like Cancer came back negative, because at least we’d know what was wrong, what could be done to get Hika home and out of the Hospital. After a while, the doctors were running out of tests to give. They transferred us to an intensive care unit where Hika would just sleep and sleep and sleep. Oikawa stayed by his bedside. He always stayed. I would leave and go to work then leave work and come immediately to Hospital. I brought a change of clothes for us each time. The second time I ever left, Oikawa told me to bring the stuffed baby Yoda and Hika’s favorite blanket. He didn’t like how cold it was in the hospital; I think that was another reason he laid with him in the hospital bed.   
Hikaru had been in three different Hospitals over the span of a month. No one could find what was wrong. There were some suggestions from doctors to take him overseas to specialists, but that it be a risky trip considering how weak he was. Hikaru was getting worse. He had lost so much weight while being in the hospital; he barely ate and only the IV was keeping him hydrated. Oikawa was losing weight with his worry. I had to force him to eat. Every time I came back to the Hospital from work his face was swollen with tears. I knew he would cry when I was at work. He knew it would hurt me as well since I can feel what he’s feeling through the bond mark. I hated being away, but with the Hospital bills, I had to work. I felt horrible being away, I just wanted to spend time with my son...before I couldn’t.   
I think my work was slipping since the director called me into his office. He knew what was going on with my family, yet he expects me to be at the top of my game as I was before this all started. I was expecting a lecture, but instead I was given paid leave. I almost cried right there in his office. I made it to Hospital in record time. I didn’t even go home to change. I would get to see my son and Oikawa. I wouldn’t have to leave them again. I felt like a new leaf was turning. We would be out of here soon.


	4. Just Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an Omegaverse AU  
> Oikawa and Iwaizumi are a fated pair who very soon became a bonded pair in college. Years went by and they now have a child. The two have to somehow keep their relationship together after their child falls ill; dealing with physical and mental pain, will they be okay?

**Chapter 4: Just Sick**

I was running down the halls. I didn’t care that I was a grown ass Alpha. I was going to see my son and my mate. I was on paid leave, Hika was going to be- I stopped abruptly as I saw Oikawa standing outside the room with a nurse and a doctor. I could feel the worst pain in my chest. I walked over swiftly. Oikawa’s eyes were swollen and still wet. Without any warning Oikawa hugged me tightly, as if looking for somewhere safe. I nuzzled his neck and held him. I looked up at the doctor in confusion.  
“Iwaizumi-san...I was just explaining to your mate...we can’t find anything wrong with your son...and we think it’s time to consider other options.” I felt Oikawa shaking in my arms. I was more confused. This isn’t what I was expecting.  
“What other options?” the doctor looked sorry. I wanted to rip it off. I repeated myself when he didn’t answer.  
“He...he means...something like...ho..hospice!” Oikawa started sobbing. I held him even tighter.  
“Hospice? What do you mean? He doesn’t have Cancer, why can’t you find what’s wrong? You’re telling us to just give up?” I was getting angry. Oikawa was squeezing me. I know this wasn’t helping. _But why...just why? Why to our son?_  
“Iwaizumi-san, Hospice isn’t just for Cancer patients. We just think that you’ll be more comfortable there spending the remaining time with your son. It’s only a suggestion though,” the nurse spoke up. I was taken aback as my breath caught in my throat; _“The remaining time with your son.”_ It echoed in my head. I sucked in the breath I was holding and walked inside the room where Hikaru was. Oikawa was still wrapped around me. I looked down at him. He was still sleeping. He had been sleeping so much lately. It was like he was in a coma, but he wasn’t. He was just _sick._

  
“Let’s take him home. I don’t want him in another Hospital,” Oikawa kept crying, but I felt him nod.  
The hospital sent us home with the necessary equipment. A nurse helped us set up everything in his room. She showed us which buttons to check and how to change and clean everything.  
For the remaining months Hikaru slept in his bed along with Oikawa beside him. He refused to leave his pup’s side. I wasn’t planning on leaving them either. I would cook or order delivery. I would force Oikawa to eat and drink with me. I would drag him out of the room just to shower and he’d be right back by his side. His face was always swollen.  
“Iwa-chan,: I heard Oikawa’s weak voice whisper as I sat on the floor beside them. “I want to move him to our bed. I want to take him off these machines.” I could feel it, and I know that’s why Oikawa spoke up.  
We moved Hikaru to our bed. There was more room and we could both lay with him comfortably. Oikawa made a nest around Hika to make him more safe and comfortable. I hated seeing him this way. He was so skinny, so weak, so _sick_. We laid around him in the big nest. I could feel tears slipping down my eyes as I drifted to sleep.


	5. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an Omegaverse AU  
> Oikawa and Iwaizumi are a fated pair who very soon became a bonded pair in college. Years went by and they now have a child. The two have to somehow keep their relationship together after their child falls ill; dealing with physical and mental pain, will they be okay?

**Chapter 5: Loss**

I woke up to an agonizing pain in my chest. I heard sobbing. It was still dark in the room, so I knew it was either late or very early in the morning. I turned to see Oikawa holding Hikaru and sobbing into his hair. I couldn’t smell anything from Hika. I knew. I started to cry. 

* * *

It had been a long couple of days since Hika’s passing. It had been a blur of pain, tears and condolences. There were few things I remember here and there. I remember EMTs coming and taking him away. I don’t remember my feet moving, but somehow I was ending up from place to place; the hospital, funeral home, burial ground, and back home. I remember Oikawa wanting to give the Yoda doll to Hika in his casket, but he broke down, not being able to part with the last thing he touched. I could hardly hold myself together after that.   
Somehow after it all, we made it back home. It was quiet and forlorn. I wanted to leave. Oikawa was having a hard time stepping through the door. I guided him up the stairs toward our bedroom, all the while hugging his waist. He stopped me halfway there, standing in front of Hikaru’s room. It was dark, but you could see all the posters, toys, and memories from the hall light; even the birthday presents, still wrapped.  
“He never got to open them,” I could hear Oikawa’s voice shake. “We said he could after he got better...but...but..” Oikawa didn’t finish as he collapsed on the floor sobbing. My chest ached and a sharp pain sat in my whole body. The pain that Oikawa was feeling. I picked him up and carried him inside Hikaru’s room and we lay in his bed. I gathered blankets and toys that still lingered with his scent and placed them in the bed with us. We needed to grieve.   
We needed to just lie and grieve.   
We lied there together, Oikawa wrapped in my arms. Our heartbroken scents holding us together. We lied there in the nest made of Hikaru’s things. His faint scent was lingering in the air within the darkness. Oikawa was clutching the stuffed yoda as he wept into it. My own nose fell onto Hikaru’s pillow as tears streamed down my cheeks. I squeezed Oikawa. I needed to feel him there with me. Our mourning scents were drowning me.   
I don’t remember when I fell asleep, but I woke with a start. I instantly looked for my grieving mate. He hadn’t moved. He was there, still wrapped in my arms except he was sleeping instead of crying. The pain I had felt was dull in my body. His eyes were swollen and his cheeks were stained with all the tears he cried until he passed out. I’m sure I looked the same. I settled in again around him and placed my nose in his hair. There was still a deep sadness but I could still smell _him_. That sweet hazelnut. I basked in his scent a little longer before I silently shifted out of the small bed and headed to the kitchen.   
When Oikawa woke, I knew. The sharp pain was back and the smell in the air had changed. It was like a heavy dark cloud suddenly appeared now that it knew he was awake. I ran up to Hikaru’s room to see him crying silently into the stuffed toy again.   
“Tooru,” I didn’t know exactly what to say. I embraced him and nuzzled him with a soft scent. “Tooru, come eat with me.” All he did was nod his head and wipe his tears that wouldn’t go away. I made sure to sit beside him and either my elbow or arm was touching him. We couldn’t be alone right now. The pain in my body was unlike any pain I’d ever felt. I knew a lot of it was Oikawa’s grief. I knew because of our bond. I knew it connected us more than on an emotional level.   
The pain never really left, it was constant even when Oikawa was sleeping, just dull. It felt almost like heartburn. I hated this feeling, but I was also glad I could feel it. I knew it was my Alpha instinct telling me that my Omega was in pain and needed me. I was glad the bond wouldn’t allow him to hide how he was feeling. I know he wouldn’t willingly share them with me so that I wouldn’t worry. I knew Oikawa was feeling my grief as well. I need to not let it out so strong; I don’t want him in any more pain. I did my best to nuzzle him whenever I could with any kind of comforting scent.  
This went on for a few days. We would lie in Hika’s bed to grieve and smell his scent. I would have to force Oikawa to eat with me. We would shower together, but most of all we would just be in each other's arms.

  
* * *  
A new week was about to start and I needed to get Oikawa to stop sleeping so much. I was getting scared for his health. I had been watching him just pick at his food and I would give in when he said he wasn’t hungry. I was hardly eating either because I was so worried about him. We had just finished lunch; Oikawa ate about a handful of rice then went back upstairs to lie down. I followed behind him after I cleaned up the dishes.  
“Hey, why don’t we go for a walk? Get some fresh air.” I sat next to him on the bed.   
“I just want to lie down.” I didn’t like that idea. I knew all he wanted to do was cry until he passed out from exhaustion.   
“Tooru, grieving is healthy, but wallowing in it is not,” I nuzzled up on his back, pleading. I was not going to let him fall into a depression. He slowly sat up, wiped his tears and turned to me.   
“Only to the corner,” he gave me a small smile. I nodded, thankful that he was working with me. I helped him up and changed our clothes. Winter was upon us and it had been cold outside recently.   
“I think the cold will feel nice on our faces,” we had reached the door as I was getting some toboggans for us. Oikawa gave me another weak smile. I nuzzled him. “Hey, this is good. We’ll be okay!” I opened the door and almost ran over someone on our doorstep.   
“Mom?” Oikawa said from behind me. I looked forward and saw my mother-in-law. She hugged me then walked right inside and embarrassed her son. Her eyes were glossy, but I could tell she was here to help.   
“I’d ask how you two were, but I can see my answer by the loss of weight.”  
“I.. I’m sorry Oikawa-san-”  
“You have nothing to apologize for. Just let me feed you two,” she turned to me then waltzed into our messy kitchen. We sat together eating a simple meal. Tooru was eating more than usual, it made me relieved. Nothing’s better than mother’s cooking. It warmed me to the core.  
“So where were you two going before I showed up?”  
“We were going to go on a walk around the neighborhood, I thought it would be good with the weather being nice today,” I answered.   
“Oh how nice, shall we go after the food’s gone?”  
“Mom, why are you here?” Tooru interrupted. A silence fell around the table. Okinawa-san’s sweet smile left her face.  
“As always, you’re straight to the point. I was trying not to bring it up. Tooru, I am worried about you both. You just lost a child and you have only called me twice. I brought it upon myself to come visit for the day. I want to help my children,” she looked at both of us. I could see Oikawa was on the verge of tears. “So, how about that walk?”  
The home phone interrupted the heaviness in the air. I looked puzzled, not knowing who could be calling. I got up from the table to answer it.  
“Hello?”  
“Iwaizumi-san, this is Haicho,” I knew as soon as his gruff voice came from the line; it was work. “I’m sorry again for your loss and hope you’re doing alright at the very least.”  
“Yes, thank you, Sir.”  
“Good, good.” There was a pause. “Well, Iwazumi, I know now is a very hard time for you, but I- we need you back at the office.”  
“Sir, I don’t think I can right now-”  
“I know, I know, but there’s a new company we need to partner with and they asked for you specifically for the meetings. You’re the best we’ve got and they like you. I know we can close with them if you’re on board.” I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t know how. I was getting pissed off. Why now? How could I work with this kind of loss. And Oikawa- “Iwaizumi-san. I don’t want to make this conditional.” _Isn’t it too late for that?_  
“I understand, _Sir_.”   
“Great, see you soon!” *click* I slammed the phone back into the base.   
“What’s wrong?” I turned back to the table. They both had a worried look on their faces.  
“I-it was work. I have to go in for some new deal.”   
“Right now?” Oikawa-san asked.  
“Unfortunately,” I walked over to Tooru. “I don’t have a choice, I have to go back in. Will you be okay?” I felt the pain in my chest deepen, but Tooru smiled at me.  
“Hajime, I’ll be okay. Mom is here, so please don’t worry.

The day went by pretty quick, I got through work a bit painlessly and even got to enjoy some time at home with Oikawa-san. This was a nice break in the recent days of grief. Time felt like it was going back to normal. Tooru’s mom made us a lot of food we could re-heat and enjoy. She left in the morning the next day and I had to go to work in the afternoon. I was still worried about Tooru, but i felt better about leaving him at home. 

“Iwa-chan, I’ll be okay. I promise,” My worry overtook my reassurance and I had offered to call his mom to come back and stay for a few more days.  
“You’re sure?” I stopped fixing my tie to look him dead in the eyes.  
“Hajime, I’ll be okay. I want you to be able to concentrate on your work, you don’t need to worry about me,” Oikawa hugged into my chest and let out his sweet comforting scent.   
“Fine, but I’m going to call you every hour.” Oikawa smiled up at me and nodded. I was so happy to see his smile again. It was still sad, but it was his smile. I enveloped him in my arms. 

  
* * *

I couldn’t concentrate on my work from worry. I know he told me he would be okay, but it was him. I knew how he was. I was scared to leave him alone. He sounded alright on the phone from the past calls, but I felt like he’s faking it. There was another couple of hours before I could head out. I decided to call him again.   
_*ring* *ring* *ring* *ring* *ring* *click*_  
“Tooru-”  
_*the number you have dialed-*_ I hung up and called again. And again. And again. Panic  
sat in my stomach as I jumped from my seat. I had to get home. Why wasn’t he picking up? I yelled to a coworker that I had to leave for an emergency and I was out the door and driving home before anyone could say anything. I kept calling Oikawa’s phone and home phone but there was no answer. I was on the verge of tears thinking the worst things imaginable.   
“TOORU!” I busted through the door and didn’t see him anywhere. I couldn’t smell him either. I ran to our bedroom and there he was. I shook him “Tooru, wake up. Please wake up!” I felt my voice break. Then there was the pain in my chest, except this time it felt more like an annoying cramp. I looked at him and saw his chest rising and falling. My anxiety started to settle as Oikawa rose and rubbed his eyes. They weren’t puffy, but just red. I smelled faint hazelnut. I let out a sigh of relief and embraced him in a tight hug.   
“Iwa-chan?” I just hugged him tighter. “Iwa, I can’t breathe!”  
“Why didn’t you answer the phone? I called and called!” I let go and started into his more-awake eyes. “Do you know how scared I was?” Oikawa lowered his gaze. Then he took my shaking hands.   
“I’m sorry, I was alright today, really, I just needed a nap. I guess my phone died,” He pressed his head into my chest. “I’m sorry, Hajime.” I wrapped him in my arms as I nuzzled him.   
“It's fine. I’m just really glad you're okay.”


	6. Scent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an Omegaverse AU  
> Oikawa and Iwaizumi are a fated pair who very soon became a bonded pair in college. Years went by and they now have a child. The two have to somehow keep their relationship together after their child falls ill; dealing with physical and mental pain, will they be okay?

**Chapter 6: Scent**

  
It has been about a week and the pain in my chest has been going away day by day. I wasn’t sensing anything from Oikawa that was alarming. He was just calm and occupied himself with housework or watching his favorite alien shows. I was able to concentrate more at work lately, even though I would find myself worrying about Oikawa now and then, but he would pick up as soon as I called. It seemed like everything was slowly going back to the way it was, only there were a few things that have changed; I was weary of asking him to sleep with me, but more so than that, I was hardly smelling anything from Oikawa. I mean I could still smell him, but the scents he would knowingly or even unknowingly give off when he was sad or happy or even excited was barely there. I figured this was his grief overtaking most of the scent, but that was even minimal. The pain I would feel that was shared through our bond mark was nearly gone. It made me a bit happy to think that Oikawa was coping and getting back up. I never noticed how much his emotions affected me; I guess because most of them were happy. I was glad the bond wouldn’t allow him to hide how he was feeling. I know he wouldn’t share them with me just to have me not worry.  
I had returned to my regular morning work schedule and come back home in the evening. The pain was basically gone, but I could still feel a bit there in the pit of my stomach. I thought to myself, how that may never go away. Oikawa seemed to be doing okay. He’d cry less and less at night; he was eating a bit more, but other than that, he was just quiet.   
Two weeks came and went. Oikawa has been getting outside the house more. I was happy he was getting out. He told me he found a nice park he liked to relax in. He offered for us to take a trip after I got a break from work.  
I’d find myself scenting Oikawa more and more and today I just realized I hadn’t been sensing or smelling anything from him. Usually from the bond I’d feel calming, happiness, or even sadness given our current status, but lately I haven't been feeling anything; it was like a black void. Just...nothing. It scared me.   
Oikawa joined me in our bed after returning home later than usual. He greeted me by scenting my head along with a light kiss then he rolled over and went to sleep. I looked at him for a long while before putting up my book and turning out my bedside lamp. _He wasn’t having an affair was he? Was he resenting me for my genes and what happened to Hikaru? Why can’t I feel love, or anything from him? Why wasn’t he talking to me?_  
I woke up the next morning to find Oikawa had left to _“run some errands”_. I found his note on the bathroom sink. I couldn’t stop thinking about what popped into my head yesterday; _affair_. But that should be impossible for a bonded omega. Maybe I am overthinking things, but I still don’t know why he’s been so distant. Though he was just coping with the grief. I heard the front door open and I hurried downstairs. He was holding a few bags, looks like he went to the store. I was _overthinking_.   
“Let me help you!” I grabbed all the bags from him and set them on the counter. I turned back to look at him but his back was to me as he was hanging up his coat. “Hey, Tooru, how are you doing?” I met his eyes finally. He gave me a smile. It made me sick. "Why are you doing that?"  
"Doing what Iwa-chan?  
"Showing me that disgusting fake smile."  
Oikawa goes silent and tears start pooling from his face. I immediately feel the grieving pain back in full force. I had to catch myself on the counter from falling on the floor. I feel the breath knocked out of me and tears start falling pooling from my eyes.  
"That's why i was doing that," Oikawa sobbed out. "I am hurting you so much. I know because you're my Alpha that you can feel every bit of pain I am feeling from this loss on top of your own! I tried to turn it off; It took awhile but I did it; I could tell because you started standing more straighter, you weren't out of breath as much; It was like I lifted a weight off your shoulders! Hajime, this pain is never going away because I can never forget Hikaru and how I lost my only child." Oikawa fell to the floor and sobbed into his hands. I crawled over and seized him in my arms.  
"You can never hurt me. Tooru I need to know how you feel. Never shut yourself out from me again,” I choked out from my tears.


	7. Surviving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an Omegaverse AU  
> Oikawa and Iwaizumi are a fated pair who very soon became a bonded pair in college. Years went by and they now have a child. The two have to somehow keep their relationship together after their child falls ill; dealing with physical and mental pain, will they be okay?

**Chapter 7: Surviving**

A year and a half has gone by since Oikawa and I decided to see a therapist. After Oikawa shut himself off to me, I knew we weren’t going to get through the loss alone. Today we were waiting for our last appointment. I looked to my side to see Oikawa shaking his leg. His anxiousness was through the roof.  
“Oi, shittykawa, calm down!”  
“Mean, Iwa-chan! I’m just so excited to tell-”  
“Iwaizumi, you may go in now,” the secretary interrupted. As instructed we headed in and took our seats.  
“Good afternoon, how are you both doing today?”   
“Doing well,” Oikawa nodded in agreement.  
“That’s great! Tooru, if I’m correct, you had your heat a few weeks ago; how was it with your pheromones normalizing?” Oikawa looked at me and blushed before turning back to Sawamura.  
“To be honest, Koshi, it was great. I was happy to feel every ounce of us,” Oikawa touched my arm. “It's good to feel again. I regret ever blocking my pheromones abnormally.”   
“Regrets are good to remind us not make the same mistakes, but there's no need to be ashamed, ever.” Oikawa nodded in agreement. “Hajime, how are we doing with differentiating emotions?”  
“Much better, I can easily tell which of the same emotion is coming from whom; just like today how excited I am and how much the excitement is eating at Tooru,” I looked at my mate who was shaking his leg again. I know Sawamura noticed.  
“I was wondering about the restlessness. Tooru, care to share why you have ants in your pants?” Oikawa wiggled around a bit more.  
“I’M PREGNANT!” Oikawa popped out of his seat.  
“Tooru, that's amazing!” Sawamura stood and hugged Oikawa excitedly. My cheeks were starting to hurt by how much I was smiling. Sawamura reached out to me to join in the hug. “Congratulations, you two!” We all pulled away and sat back down slowly, still smiling.   
“Now I- we know that this baby is not a replacement for Hikaru, and I’ve been going weekly to the hospital for exams to make sure he or she will be born healthy,” Oikawa was holding my hand tightly while rubbing his stomach. He wasn’t showing yet, but they were in there, slowly growing.   
“I’m so happy for you both, and I’m so glad you said that about Hikaru; it really shows how far you have come during these sessions. You both have grown so much,” I swear I saw tears welling up in his eyes.   
“ _Beep-Beep_ ,” Sawamura’s small alarm went off on his side table. He silenced it was a sullen face. “I really am sad that this is your last session, but I am very confident that you two will be okay from now on. And you’re always welcome to come back if you need!”  
“Thank you so much Koshi, I really believe we would be very worse off without coming to you,” Oikawa wiped away some tears.  
“Thank you Koshi, we’re really grateful!” I said, gripping Oikawa’s hand tighter.

With sad and happy hugs and goodbyes, Oikawa and I headed home happier and stronger with our second child on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me a while to write and I didn't want to post any of it until I finished it. That usually motivates me to finish a work. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed and even cried a little!


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